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Mike, the home's director, sat us down at a walnut-stained table and let out a sigh. "I got the report from the hospital, " he said.

Then he jumped into the casket, put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger before the shocked undertakers could stop him, Ananova reports.

When I got to the funeral home, his family and I immediately started swapping funny stories about him.

This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

said the undertaker: raising the candle above his head, to get a better view of Oliver.

A woman went into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral.

Suddenly, the meaning of what I had said at the funeral came to light. The part inside that had died with her was my heart!

As a mortician's assistant, he ate the flesh of autopsy bodies, as well as taking parts of their flesh home with him.

We attend funerals to honor their memory and grieve our loss, but we do not expect to be greeted at the door by the person who has died.